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Showing all 31 blog posts.
Elloa
Back to Final Fantasy

Lately, my mood and moral go up and down. Sometimes very down. I needed to find an activity that would offer me comfort and gentleness. Something that would be as inspiring as a hug, where I could feel safe, and not lonely. I needed a game where I could lose myself in beauty and feel happier, even only by myself.

Final Fantasy is the perfect game for that. It inspire kindness and joy. It's one of the only game where you can see your character truly smiling, and where you can hug other players for real. The music, the oniric landscape, or even the dialogue between the NPCs, make you think of a better world.
Its also a game that I always regretted to not have been part of, when it was highly played in Whitestar. I know this game is highly praised for many aspect, including the complexity and the depth of the "old school" combat system.
So, I decided to resubscribe to that game and to continue to discover it.

I've been very lucky to be able to play with @LunaDra who gently assisted me to complete some steps of my personal quest. We did some dungeons together and it was great! It put a nice sunshine in my day, and I was glad to share some privileged game time with a very sweet friend.
The spoil of the day didn't stopped there, as @Aeyvi joined me later. She toke me for a tour of the Golden Sauce where I had never been before, and explained me all games we can enjoy there. We had a very nice discussion about the game as we unlocked some other features such as the Palace of the Dead and the Challenge Log. This will allow us to spent more time together in the game, and allow me to truly discover Final Fantasy.

Thank you so much girls for your friendship, you really helped me when I was not going very well, and I feel a lot more hopeful as I'm writing this post. This prove once more that gentleness, friendship, and some shared moment together can serve as balm, and soothe sorrow. Lots of love to you both! (and everyone else reading this post)

Elloa
Sharing - Humility and EGO

Lately, I'm not happy at all with myself. I should probably go speak to a psychiatrist or therapist, rather than ranting in my blog, but...I'm not called the rantosaurus for nothing so here it goes. Feel free to not read.

I made not long ago, a post describing my goals for self-improvement, and the direction I wanted to go. ( Sharing - Who I've choosen to become)While this wasn't supposed to be a post of self praise...I felt it looked a bit like that. NO. I'm not the way I described. I just WANT to become that way.

Anyway for today, let's speak about my two weakness: humility and EGO. Those two are giving me hard time. By the simple fact of writing this and publicating on this blog I'm already losing the fight and make them victorious, by being absolutely not humble, and being the center of attention again.

True humility is diffcult to achieve. Admiting that we are not perfect, that we have flaws, even publicaly isn't enough to deserve to be called humble. Humility is to accept that sometimes we are not needed. Sometimes we are not important. Sometimes we do not have the power to change things, and we shouldn't. Sometimes we are a simply meant to not be involved, to not be included, to have a modest role, or no role at all. And we should be satisfied with that.
EGO, is that one thing that will make you believe that you are the most important thing in the world. You will want to be a hero, or a victim, or whatever, anything that will make you stand out, anything that will make you special, or good, or better, or less good, or the worst. Anything to stand appart and be separated from everyone else and the world. And more you fight the ego, trying to suppress it with good morals and behaviour, mediation, and other work on self improvement, more the EGO will fight you back, and try to win.

I'm in such battle at the moment, and it's exhausting. My EGO is very fierce and really don't want to be eliminated. He want to be a hero, or a victim. He wants to be admired by others, recognised for the great feats he does, ...or attract sympathy and compassion, and transform myself into a poor poor little person.

The reality is that...I'm not better or worst than anyone else. I'm not more or less important. I'm just like everyone. I should find my place and be satisfied with that place. Find my role on earth, no matter how modest, discreete and unimportant that role can be.
That reality is a knife in the heart of the EGO. But so be it. I want to win that fight.

Oh my God, there is so little on that list that I can check!

Elloa
Sharing - Who I've chosen to become. The path i've chosen to walk on.

Today I feel like sharing more about my system of beliefs and what I try to create with myself. This is very personal, I'm not trying to convince, or convert anyone. I'm not writting this to give lessons nor to open a debate. I just wanted to share.

In the eternal fight of "Evil" versus "Good" that is illustrated in so many myths, tales and legends, and also our modern literature. Evil, the side of fear and anger. Good, the side of Love.
The only way to annihilate Evil, is not to fight. Fighting Evil, would mean falling in the camp of fear, anger, and retribution. This would mean becoming corrupted, and actually increasing the ranks of Evil. Within Evil, wars are allowed. That just increase its power.
The only way, is to love. And slowly convert evil elements, in loving elements by simply loving them enough and transfering that love. The process is slow and long. But that's the purpose of life, isn't it? Slowly, each corrupted elements is less and less influenced by fear and anger, and slowly become a loving cell, that can in turn, enlight others. It's a slow healing process. But that requiere no fight, no violence, no combat. Only love.

This is one of the strongest beliefs I've. The path I've choosen to follow, even though, I'm filled with fear, bitterness, and anger. But I belief that the only way, is to heal myself with love, joy, light and positivity. That way I'll wipe out my fears, my angers, my bitterness. I'll be acceptance and wisdom, and I'll be able to love the world in return.This is not something easy. Atleast it is not for me. So many often I'm entrapped within my own illusions of fear and anxiety. Even if I know this are only illusions, it's difficult to break free from them, and remember that everything is okay, as long as your heart is filled with love. It is hard to trust. It is hard to let go. It is hard to not try to control everything. I know that, when I feel stressed, I'm angry, sad, depressed, hopeless, or very fearful, I need to get away by myself for a while, and heal myself in tranquility. It doesn't matter if I believe I'm right, if I believe my cause is fair. Fear, and anger is never right, is never fair, is never the solution. It's a trap of illusion that enslaves me. To break free, I need to trust and love. But too many time, I'm falling in the trap, and I forget it is illusions. I become angry and fearful and act accordingly. Step by step, I try to recognise the traps, I try to not let myself fall into it. Step by step, I'll learn. It takes time. But that's okay.

With enough of Love, one become unbreakable.

This is another belief. I think that within us lies a source of love.It is like a tiny diamant lost and covered under a pile if dust. The dust represent our fears and anger. When we feel sad, anxious, depressed, fearful, the solution is not to seak outside to be saved. This will not really work. It's like patching a wound without properly healing it. The solution is to look within ourselves. Find that tiny diamand of light, and make it shine. Make it grow. We can imagine it as a spell, the light burning all the dust, and the diamond is growing. Now imagine than the diamond within you is growing so large that your whole being is transformed into a diamond, reflecting light, and unbreakable. That way, you can burn the dust and darkness arround you, and you become a beacon of light for the world.
This is one of the reason why I believe so strongly that to make the world a batter place, I need to start by making myself a better person, and this is the quest I need to focus on.
A more logical approach is simply to understand than if everyone was improving themselves and becoming more loving and caring persons, less entraped with fear and anger, the world would become better by itself, without any other work.

This. I belief that we are all in the same boat. All of us without exception. We are struggling with our lives, with ourselves. We are seeking hapiness and love. We wish to not suffer. Doesn't matter the mistakes we do, or the path we choose. We are all the same, carring our burdens and struggling. As such I consider us all equal, and I try to accept everyone. I try to make a separation between what the personality or the "character" of someone (opinion, taste, beliefs) and what the person truely is (someone struggling to be happy). Obviously there is opinion, taste, beliefs, in short personalities or "characters" that fit me better, or that I like better; but I try to not let myself influenced too much by it. I try to consider everyone, and remember than we all want the very same thing.

When I feel myself too much unloving, I have several meditation excercises. To tranform my hostility into compassion. For example, when I'm travelling in the bus, and poeple annoy me, disgust me. Then I try to imagine everyone as a little toddler. And I imagine they have lost their mum, or they have fallen on the ground and they are hurt. I imagine them in tears and distress. How can you not melt and feel filled with compassion in front of a innocent and cute baby suffering in front of you. The only thing you will want to do is to confort that little baby. Take it in your arms and reassure him. "It's alright, everything is going fine. I'll protect you. I'll help you." That usually does the trick, and instead of being annoyed by poeple, I feel myself filled with love.

I've different other exercises, other scenarios and stories I made up in my head.
One of them is to feel friendship. Remember how you become friend with someone? It often take a long time. You need to discover each others, learn each others, spent time with each others. Learn to accept the other with his differences. Sometimes you need some good fights, and some good reconciliations. And then the friendship is established. In that "meditation", what I do is simply skipping all those steps. I imagine than the stranger in front of me is a long term friend and that we have shared already all those steps to become friend. Instead of having to earn my trust, my affection and my care with years and years of sharing life together, I treat that person instantly like a friend. I imagine to rejoice to see this person. To want to hug him or her. To be happy about his success and mourn his hardships. Like you do for a real friend. It's actually a very fun way to transform mistrust and annoyance with joy and love.

My goal and my aim, is to love everyone. Not making any difference. After all, does a person deserve more my love because I know him or not? Does a person deserve more my love because his personality fit my own? No that's not really fair when you think about it. Anyone deserve as much love as anyone else. Wiping out step by step all the steps that make you prefer a person over another, this is what I do. I'm not yet there, though. But working on it! ;)

I rarely dislike poeple. But sometimes it happens. Or, sometimes it's not that I dislike them, but I'm scared, jealous, I mistrust, I'm hurt. Whatever. It's not positive feelings. Those persons take the shape or the role of an ennemy or a rival. Do you know how to do to annihalate your ennemies? You befriend them! Not in a hypocritical way, to stab them later when you have earn their trust. You befriend them for real, you love them, you care for them, you wish them success and happiness. And then suddendly, you do not have an ennemy anymore. You have a friend instead. And the day that person love you back, the victory is total! This, is a practical example of what I explained above of how to annihilate Evil by loving.

While I'm very spiritual and believe in many things, while I'm naturally attracted to religions or spiritual movements, since I'm a little girl and despite have been raised in a very atheist family, I've made the conscious choice to not affiliate myself to any religions or spirtitual movement. Instead I'm reading here and there, I listen to various source, various culture, always keeping my criticism awake, and my mind open. Or I try.
I choose to not be affiliate to any religion because I do not want to enclose myself, to pledge loyalty to one movement, and miss out all opportunities to grasp a sparkle of truth. I do not believe any religion, or spirituality own the Truth. I do not think the Truth is known by any human. I believe our brain is not powerful enough to comprehend the immensity of Truth, and we only grasp some part of it, here and there. So more sources I'm are listening to, more sparkle of Truth I'm gathering. And it seems to me more interesting to read on various and different sources, and see all the similarities between them.
I also choose to not affiliate myself, because religions had been corrupted by humans for so long. It had been used to control population, establish power over poeple, political reasons and so on. The real message had been distorded with time, and lost in so many falsness. It's really difficult to be able to make the difference between what was the real message and what had been corrupted by centuries of corruption.
Likewise, spirituality and madness are sibilings, and it's so easy, while seaking for enlightment, to be fooled and fall in a trap of illusions and lies.
For all those reasons, I've choose to walk my spiritual path by myself, carefully, slowly. It would be faster with a Master to guide me, but I feel more safe to do it my own way. I'm inspired by some persons, by some guides, but I never follow them blindly and exclusively.

I'm also lacking of faith, and being to skeptical. I'm too often fearfull and scared. I try to be more trustful in general. All of this take time. And there is many moment, I'll stumble and fall. But as long as I get back on my feets, and continue to walk, it's okay. I've all the time.

I try to stay humble, open minded, and accept that I can be wrong. I try to never be stuborn, and stuck in my own beliefs. It's not always easy. Sometimes, some beliefs are deeply encrusted. But as long as I've the will, and the capacity to accept that I could have been wrong all along, I guess there is still hope.

I also belief that it is important to remember that we are in a energy of creation. We can create who we are. We can choose to follow a certain path. We can break free from our past programations and influences (education, culture, hardship in life etc...). We can break free from them, choose what we want to become and actively create who we are. Knowing this help immensely, as instead of being a victim of misfortune, we become the creator of our destiny.

Thank you to have read me. Peace, Love and joy uppon you, your loved ones, and your non-loved ones too! ;)

- Elloa

Elloa
Softly Spoken Stream attempt! Let's do this!

It's a very long time I've this crazy concept in mind. I wanted to do a Softly Spoken Stream, to welcome my viewers in a relaxed space, where they could feel comfortable, appeased, serene. I've attemted something similar when I was livestreaming on Youtube. I ended the livestream with 20 min of relaxation. People semt to enjoy it, but I wanted to do something more than a guided meditation. I want to offer a place where the lonely would find company, the depressed would find comfort, the anxious would find relief, the insomniac would find the help to fall asleep. Bring livestreaming to another experience, centred on humans interactions and well being, and using gaming as an excuse.

The best medium for relaxation, and ASMR content is obviously a well edited video. However, when I saw how addicted I was to Bob Ross livestream, how I was just enjoying to have his postume company on the second monitor, I though there was something to explore.

So here we go. I've no idea if that concept has potential. No idea if it could even work. But after too many hesitations, I think it's time to try. And see if it's something the internet needs, or another of my weird idea that looks nice on paper and doesn't work at all in reality.

I'll start tonight, with Minecraft Creative, as I think it's a nice relaxing game, that can serve as support for what I really want to do. In addition, it might be fun for viewers to follow a progression stream after stream.

Hope to see a lot of you on the Whitestar Stream tonight, after my ESO stream, arround 23h (Paris time)

Elloa
I'm on DISCORD - join my server!

Greetings everyone,

I've discovered DISCORD recently through Anook, and I've been immediately seduced by this new social media that compile Skype and a Voice chat at once. It's clean, easy to use, easy to set-up, its very convenient, modern, and adapted to our evolving gaming community needs.

I've decided to try this new thing more seriously, and to set up my own server. While i'm discovering all aspect of Discord, this will allow me to have a space where to interact directly with my friends, buddies and followers. This will even allow me some interaction during my livestream. I envision Discord already like a very welcome tool for what I'm doing.

CHANNELS
For now, I've set up a few text channels, as I'm planning to use mostly the text chat.

  • ChitChat - a chat open to everyone
  • Bavardages - a chat open to everyone, in french
  • ESO - A chat for my followers to ask ESO related questions
  • TESO fr - A chat for my followers to ask ESO related question in french
  • Whitestar - private chat for my community
  • Team Baguette - private chat for Team Baguette

The Voice Chat will only be used for particular events.

I've set up three different roles:

  • Mods - Will help me to keep the place clean and cozy
  • Whitestar - for my community
  • TeamBaguette - for Team Baguette

HOW TO JOIN?
It's very easy! Simply follow this >>LINK<<
DISCORD will ask you to cretae your profile. You just have to create it if you do not have one already! Easy!!

.

Elloa
One month of Streaming

It's one month that I've been streaming my new show "Elloa The rantosaurus LIVE" on Youtubegaming, and I'm pretty happy about how the whole experience turned to be!
Beside one technical issue that shortened the Wildstar show, and the Stream Baguette that had been delayed due to some unavoidable real life events, I've been consistant, always preparing my show with care, and I believe it make them a bit more special, interesting, and most importantly, I hope, more entertaining to watch afterwards for the poeple that missed the Live.

I've not as much viewers as I had on TwichTv, but this is something that will grow in time, and the persons that are joining me every week are a great company. My chat is most of the time pretty active, with interesting interactions with the viewers.
I'm also surprised to see how much succesful is the "After Party" section, 30 min of chatting and answering questions with very little gameplay involved.Seems that my viewers enjoy it and have fun participating to it!
The comments and feedback I recieved were generally pretty positive.

IMPROVING THE SHOW
I'll work towards to improve this show and put even more care and interactivity. Your feedback, dear followers is very important, as this is how I'll be able to improve it and make it more entertaining for you.

PAST SHOWS
For more convenience, I've gathered all past Episodes in that Playlist, but you can find them here on this Nook aswell, in the Video section.

I add in the description of each video some timestamp so it's easier to find the best moment of the streams. You are very welcome to suggest yours! that would actually help me a lot and I'd be very thanksfull if you would do that!

NOVEMBER
November is starting, and I've set up the Stream Baguette for tonigh (as I had delayed it), and a Heroes of The Storm stream for Wednesday.
But I've left the other event free. What would you want me to stream? Is there anything in ESO that would amuse you more particuliary? And for the wednesday stream, is there any game that I play that woudl amuse you more than another?
Just let me know in the comments!

A SURPRISE
I'm also preparing a surprise for november, but I'm not ready yet to talk about it. Still hesitating on details and schedule. But hopefully it will be something fun and excitting that will amuse you!

Elloa
Elloa The Rantosaurus LIVE

I've been dreaming of becoming a Youtuber and a Streamer long time before to have a proper computer. One day, I dared to start and to follow the steps of the famous Youtubers I was admiring. I made my way, slowly...very slowly and started to build a little community of followers. I'll skip the part where I explains my streaming history and the reasons that lead me to the announce of today. The past is the past. Let's begin!

After 1 month of serious streaming on Youtubegaming, I've decided to do something different than what I have done so far. Something that would allow me to be as creative than in my videos, while keeping the interaction of a livestream. I've decided to leave TwichTV, and focus entirely on developing my YoutubeGaming channel, and stream exclusively there. However, I'll not stream the same way than I used to stream on TwichTV. I want to go one step further, and offer a proper show that will be both entertaining to watch live, or to watch after directly on my channel.

Elloa The Rantosaurus Live, a weekly show with some extra!

The show will be divided in three part

  • The Rant: That will be the part where I'll be chatting with you guys, and introducing you the show of the day; I may aswell discuss of a subject of importance, or the latest news regarding the game.
  • The Adventure: Alone or with a group of selected guildies, I'll be doing some adventures. Could be anything from questing to Dungeons or PVP. I'll show you the game during the time of the event, and give you as much informations as possible. I'll be introducing you my teammates, speaking about their classe and build, and the content we are going to do.
  • The After Party: I'll finish the show with a Giveaway. Can be gold, a very precious item, everything I've find during the event....It will be different every time! Obviously this will be restricted to the servers and platforms I'm active on (sorry for the other viewers)

This will also be the most interactive part of the show. The one where you can ask me questions, and I'll take the time to answer you properly. Maybe showing you off something you do not understand in game. You can also give me simple challenge or discuss about what you would like to see in a next episode.

This is only the begining! I've more ideas but I'll see how this turn out before to go further. All in all, i'll do less streams, but I'll put more effort and preparation into it, and I really hope that the result will be fun and entertaining to watch!

To communicate with you, I'll be using both Twitter, as easy way to communicate and notify you about my progress, ideas and when I go live. But also this Nook, that you can consider as a "FanPage". Feel free to post comments on my wall, interact with me, and ask questions!

This my YOUTUBEGAMING page

My Youtube LIVE

This will be the style of the show

YouTube
gaming.youtube.com
Wider browser support is planned, but YouTube Gaming is Chrome-only for now.
Elloa
New Stream Schedule


NEW STREAM SCHEDULE

Tuesday - Imperial City Night with Whitestar: Adventures in the Imperial City with my guild. Exploration of the Sewers, battle in the City Districts, Tel Var Stone farming, challenging the new Dungeons... you name it! This show will be replaced by Orsinium (and any new DLC) once released.

Wednesday - PS4 Night: Adventures on PS4 with my new characters my Khajiit Sorcerer and Altmer Nightblade. Most likely a lot of leveling and lowby Dungeons!

Thursday - Adventure Night with Whitestar: This will be the surprise stream of the week. Could be anything from Dungeons to PVP, or questing.

Stream Baguette Once a month, I'll organize a stream - event 100% in french. The game will be set up in french, comments will be in french and the players with whom I'll be playing will speak french too. Of course anyone is welcome to watch the stream. This might even be the occasion to learn a different language! (Is Rich Lambert lurking?)
I'll alternate PC and PS4 to get involved in both communities.

Elloa
[Story] Letter from Elloa to Savian, current leader of Whitestar

This letter is adressed to @Savian, and placed on his desk in the Lunarfall Garnison. But anyone can read it.

Lunarfall, Draenor

Dear Savian,

We have not known each other for long, even for your human standart, but we have shared enough I believe to allow me to call for your help. I know, that despise your young age you will have the wisdom neccessary to understand my pain, and the service I'm going to ask you. I'm gratefull of the time you will take to read my letter and consider what I'm asking from you.

When Vindicator Maraad gathered forces to pass through the portal and save Draenor, I could not refuse. I could not refuse him, and I could not refuse you. As you may know, Vindicator Maraad and I stand together during the sack of Shattrah many years ago. We fought together, we failed together, we saw our people being massacred together. We flewd together and we crashed on Azeroth together. I though I'd find enough strenght within myself to face my past and overcome my guilt. But the little years spent on Azeroth, the discoveries I made, the new friendships that blossomed, the new role I embrassed in the human city, and the battles I succeeded in Highland, Uldum and Pandaria were not enough to prepare me for this hardship.
You need to understand. Once I passed the portal, and once the first skirmishes were over, once I walked on the pure soil of Shadowmoon valley, untainted and vibrant ; when I saw my commune, the poeple I've cared about for centuries, with whom I shared a happy life every day that passed on Draenor, earth of our exile ; when I saw them living, and smiling "again", hopeful for a better future, my heart shattered in thousand pieces. I've seen them died once already. I've failed them. I though that this expedition through the portal was my chance of redemption. But the pain that invaded me was unspeakable. And once Marraad fall, the little of strenght I had left completely desepeared. Do not worry, I've been through thougher time already. I've lost my connection with the light, I belived myself to be Broken, but I managed to stand up again. I followed Nabundo teaching, lessons that served me well on Azeroth and allowed me to help the Earthen Ring. I know I'll be able to gather my wits again, recover, and be strong. But for now, I'm shattered. I'm devastated.

Please, forgive my weakness. For someone of my age, it may seems absurd. But I suppose that us, Draenei, need more time. I've always been admirative of how, you, humans, recover so fast from your traumas. I will not join you in your assault of the Hellfire Citadelle. I'll stay behind, making myself useful in the garnisson. Taking care of the wounded. Something simple. Something that allow me to avoid to meet those I knew from my past life and see them die again. It feel ...like a Nightmare that loop again and again in my head and that I can't escape.

I've another favour to ask from you. This may be more difficult. But I beg you to do your best to accomplish it. Please, Savian, you know that I would never insist if it wasn't important.

Find my youngerself. She should be teaching the art of Well being and Relaxation classes in Karabor. Unless she joined some forces to defend the cities and villages. She should still be the happy, hopeful anchorite I was back then. You will find a better version of myself to help you in your task. And you will give me the opportunity of changing her fate. I wish for my youngerself to not have to face what I had to endure. There is a human said "What doesn't kill you make you stronger". It's right to some extend. I've learnt many things from the hardship endured by my people. But sometimes, the price of a lesson is simply too high.

Thank you, And sorry...

Your devoted friend Elloa.

Elloa
I don't like my gnome

Maybe "I don't like my gnome" is a bit too strong to express the lack of connection I feel towards my character. I find her cute and it's fun to be a tiny thing running arround healing, but for now I feel her almost like a stranger to me. This can seems a detail for many, but this is something that greatly bother me and make me feel very "meeeh" when I see her on my character selection screen.

Elloa between Fizzpop and Serleen

I was affraid to race change my precious priest when I did. I did because it felt like it was a nice project to reconnect to World of Warcraft together with my boyfriend as we both started to lose interest in the game at that time. We had this crazy gnome parteh with @Aeyvi and @Vordt.Ororyu hanging out in the Goldshire Inn with several other gnomes ; @Sharlena had just race changed her warrior as gnome and Fredrik's main character was his gnome. So it felt like it would be cool to add one more gnome to the gnome crew and pretend to slowly convert Whitestar in a gnome guild. Well, you know, just for fun and tease @Cornilius @Agagor @LunaDra and @Savian.
But in the end, there were no gnome crew I was ever part off, @Internet is changing main character for a draenei, and instead of fun, laughter and friendship, the few memories I associate to my gnome are rather unpleasant things I'd like to leave behind and forget.

I would like to start anew and reconnect with my priest. Love her again. Feel happy when I see her. Feel like it's a part of myself. Like she had been so many years.

My priest is my most precious character. My eternal main, because I've knew so many things with her. In game memories, and real life emotions that had been life changing for me. This priest is a real extension of myself, a true avatar of who I'm. There is no other character I feel more connected to, even not in The Elder Scrolls Online (which is a game I love a lot more than World of Warcraft today).

I started her in Vanilla-WOW when I decided to switch from the frenchspeaking server to the international ones. The best idea I ever had.

Elloa Silversky along one of her expedition

Elloa Silversky, the first identity of my priest, was a melancholic night elf that mourned her betroyed, a druid that did not awaken with the others. She became the High Priest of the Darnassus Sentinels, and toke vows to stay pure and virgin to take care of her people. She obviously fall in love with one of her soldier but never broke her vows. Drove by sadness and despair, she lost herself in her research to discover if the Kaldorei truely came from the ancient Trolls that drank the water of the Eternity Well. She started many expeditions to explore the trolls ruins in every part of Azeroth and ended by being truely convinced than the night elves decended from the Trolls, and to find back their immortality the Kaldorei people needed to get back to their roots: the voodoo. She went alone on the Echo Islands to recieve her initiation from a local Mam'bo.

It's also with her that I started to raid for the first time. From the hardcore roleplayer, I was, I started to be more and more interested into raiding and enjoyed to heal in Zul Gurub, Molten Core and An'Qiraj.It has been great time, and I was a good healer. I also made a very good friend @Aegis_Nor

But mostly, it's with her I played through whole Wrath of the Lych King in a guild lead by the father of my kids "Wardens". I had my little dungeon group to farm heroics with @Sharlena and @Internet (that were together at that time). It's with her I met @Alakina. Ooh good time! This was so much fun! I was organizing the raids, and we did great. Satharion and 3 drakes, then Ulduar and some hardmodes. To finish with The Trial of the Crusaders, normal and heroic mode.
And finally, it's with her I find true love!!! I was healing @Internet instead of the tanks, and he was never dying! <3 With her I went through the most happytime of my life, and through though times aswell, before to start a new life. Transfered her on Defias Brotherhood, made her the twin of Fredrik's priest, and we founded Whitestar.

The twin priestess Eledeza and Elenoza organising the tournament.

Later, we transfered to the Horde, to raid in Luminous Path, the guild of @Savian. We transformed our priestesses into undead twins: Elzbeth and Earina. I wrote a story about them. They were crazy twins that had a twisted, unbreakable affection for each others.

Elzbeth and Earina before they turned undead.

We worked for weeks on the Lych King kill, but we never killed it in the end (and this is why I'll never kill him, I want my character to not have the achievement). Then my priest toke some rest to leave place to another character I hold dear to my heart: Elloa, the draenei shaman.

I created Elloa, my shaman, after an argument with Fredrik regarding the races we would play in Cataclysm. He really wanted to play Worgen while I really wanted to play a goblin. To show my good will, during the night of my 31 birthday, I created my draenei shaman. And later, we resurected Whitestar.
I wrote a very deep, and dramatic story for my shaman. A draenei story, filled with pain, devotion, wisdom, a story long of ten thousand years.

Elloa and her friend Sidori

I'm speaking about my shaman, because I always wanted to play her past, before the sack of Shattrah.

Elloa was an anchorite with a high connection to the light, devoted to her commune, organising "well being" workshop and taking care of everyone. Then she toke part in the defence of Shattrah during the bloodlust, saw her poeple fall, and had been griefly injuried. She survived though, but lost the connection with the Light. She was persuaded to be broken, despite no physical signs proving her right. She didn't realised that she was not cursed with the touch of the Burning Legion, but only by her own guilt, and lack of self confidence. She lived in the Zangarmarch and was initiated by Nabundo to the shamanism. She fled Draenor with her commune, and survived the crash of the Exodar. Along her 10 thousand years of existance, she saw more than 80 percent of her poeple being massacred and wiped out. Survivor of the genocide. Once on Azeroth, she decided to move on, transcend her pain, and discover the new world she landed on. That's how she met Alakina Aisling, one of the last Whitestar heroes.
You can read her story here Elloa, a draenei fate

Elloa when she was a happy and dedicated anchorite on Draeneor

I'm not very sure about what I'm going to do. I don't want to waste money on this, but in the same time feeling disconnected with your most precious character is not fun. I've done a big mistake when I race changed my character. Now, I feel disconnected with the game aswell.

While I adore The Elder Scrolls Online and would be happy to only play that game, I still play World of Warcraft for few reasons.

  • The most important is to play a game with my boyfriend. Back in september, we decided World of Warcraft would be our game to play together, as we have different playstyle and sometimes have difficulties to adjust and play a game together for long. Atleast, with World of Warcraft, we would have the game where we met to fal back and enjoy ourselves like in the past.
  • Second reason is that I like to be part of all guilds in Whitestar. Not to supervise, but to keep a contact with everyone and by doing so maintain the unity within our diversity. Kepe our community together.
  • Third, there is the nostalgia factor. WOW is my oldest game, and it's a game that had been so entertwinned with my real life, that it's part of me, as much as my old shool, or my childhood hollidays.
  • And lastly, I love to heal in raid. I really enjoy that, and no games offer a raiding experience like World of Warcraft does.

So I want to continue to like the game, to be interested in it. And for that I need to recognise my character as an extension of myself. I can choose to keep the gnome as a gnome, and hopefully build up nice memories with her. I can give her back her first form, despite the character revamp, I still can make her close enough to what she looked like. Or she can become my shaman past, when she was still a happy draenei filled with hopes for the future.

Elloa
OMG I got plagiarized!

I guess I should feel flattered to be plagiarized, but this is something that annoys me greatly. Intellectual property is important.
We are a lot on Youtube and internet to write articles and make videos about the same subject, about the same news. So obviously, it's not always easy to stay original and lot of similar content will be produced. But it's something to see two different authors speaking about the same subject and producing something similar, and see your creation being seriously copied, almost word by words!

Well, this happened to me today! Some time ago I recorded and edited a video for new ESO players called "My TIPS for New players". If you follow me, you probably have seen it. Seeing the success of this video, I decided to make a french version. This was my first attempt to produce a frenchspeaking video and it got more views than I anticipated and positive comments.
This video, translated as "Mes conseils pour nouveaux joueurs" explains, exactly like the english version my Tips for new players in several points: 1. Addons, 2. Choice of Race and Class 3.Crafting 4.Inventory Management 5.Guilds and 6.Take the game as a new experience.

Today, The Elder Scrolls Online french Twitter have shared this article written by a young french author on a french websites, here. And I've been very surprised to see all the points I made in my videos taken in that article. Placed in different order, and summarized sometimes. And of course, as I had a particular stance on addons, that particular part is written a bit differently. But otherwise, he even let some sentences exactly phrased like mines!
"Eh oui, vous pouvez aussi bien jouer un sorcier tank, qu’un templier furtif, ou un lame noire healer et lanceur de sort ! " (Yes you can play a Sorcerer tank, a sneaky Templar or a Nightblade healer and caster)
Another Tip, that clearly come from my video is the suggestion I gave to players regarding guilds "join a Trading guild, a Guild for PVE/PVP, and keep a slot for your friends". This is also a point he exactly put there in his article.

I just writing this because I'm annoyed and I need to vent it. I will not do anything against that guy, even not a sarcastic comments, because that would serve nothing. Its not like his article is harming me in any way. I'm not really introduced in the french community, I'd probably be more pissed off if it was a english Youtuber or writer. Still feel very awkward to discover your work used by someone else.

Elloa
TimeOut from Tamriel

Greetings everyone,

@Deltia, @Sigtric and myself are very happy and proud to present you our newborn project: TimeOut from Tamriel.

The concept is to offer you a short, condensed and dynamic weekly talk show that focus on a single hot topic concerning The Elder Scrolls Online. At the end of the episode, we will propose you two subjects to choose from, and it's the most popular subject that will be our next week discussion.
Deltia, Sigtric and I are three fans of The Elder Scrolls Online, and we have very different gamestyle and personalities. We though we woudl form an interesting team as our opinions, would more or less represent the diversity of the ESO community.

Enjoy our pilot episode, and give us your feedback! Do not forget to vote your favourite subject in the Youtube comments (we will only count those ones)


How we created TimeOut Tamriel

It's a long time than Sigtric wanted to create a podcast. He worked on several podcast in the past and wanted to go back to his passion, but until today, he didn't had the time to delve into such a project.
Recently, Sigtric contacted me and Deltia for a possible collaboration. We both were very enthusiastic about it, and we both had lot of ideas of what we wanted to do. When we gathered the first time to speak about the project, Deltia and I realized that we actually had the same ideas and wishes! We wanted to create something different, that would not "compete" with established and popular podcast like The Elder Scrolls Off The Record, Tales of Tamriel or Tamriel Nation. We wanted to start with a video serie, and not a stream. We wanted something short and dynamic. We wanted something interactive that would answer the concerns of the community.
No discussion had been easier than this one!

From a technical point of view, we were not sure about the route to take. Sigtric was used to do audio podcast, not video ones. We wanted to add something interesting to watch for the viewers while we were chatting.The problem was solved by Deltia recording himself playing with skype open, and sent me the video so I could work on making everything pretty. He also imagined the title of the show!

We hope that "The Pro, the Dreamer and the Altholic" will continue to entertain you for many more episodes in future, focusing on the hottest topic for The Elder Scrolls Online.

Elloa
Streaming on HITBOX

Hello everyone,

I want to write a little message to share that I'm now streaming on HITBOX. I've tested it several days and I'm very enthousiastic about it so far! This are the reasons why I like Hitbox:

  • Clean and user friendly interface
  • Every feature that Twich have, but made better
  • Better connection to the servers, wich allow me to stream without lag most of the time despise my unstable connection
  • No delay, so better interaction between me and my viewers
  • Fun functionality in a single dashboard: polls, giveaway, promotion to social media, changing title, chat and preview the stream
  • Super cute smileys
  • Possibility to edit and save past recording in a clean board and uplaod them to Youtube.

Check out my Page! I'm pretty about the result, I tried to make it informative, original, classy and clean: here
If you want to see the video of my past broadcast, please, have a look at my video page here

My plan is to test Hitbox for about a month before to take the decision to establish myself definitively or not. The big downside for me is that Hitbox is not very well known yet, and the whole ESO community, my main game, is streaming or watching stream on TwichTV. As I'm not very well known yet, I'm taking a risk here to stay without any followers for a long while...which isn't very fun. But I'm also someone that enjoy to be a pioneer. When I believe in a product, I want to stand for it, and help to make it known. Like I did for Anook! So...if I enjoy Hitbox as much as I enjoyed Anook when I joined, I'll be right behind them, support them as much as I can, and spread the word!

So, please, if you enjoy what I'm doing consider to have a look on my channel once I go live. Come say hello, even if it's five minuts! It will make me very happy! You will be warned if I go live on Anook, Twitter or Hitbox directly!

Elloa
New Year rant...

I ended the year by being pretty depressed for various reasons, both related to my real life and my gaming life. One of those reasons is the fact that I'm still not fully embracing my passion with pride and contentement, I still feel that I'm sitting between two chairs, a very uncomfortable position.

Then I watched a stream event organised by dedicated members of the ESO community. I was quite disapointed to not be part of it, but my internet connection, my family situation and I don't know how much ridiculous excuses I hide behind didn't allowed me to be part of it. Another occasion I missed by not "daring". But what hitted me most during this stream was how the streamer, Deltia was embracing what he was doing with pride. He was not going out, not having parties with friends, not working anymore, but simply embracing his gaming life and dedicating all his energy to his passion. And he was happy, and proud! Which make it something vibrant. How can you say that its "bad", that he should do "something more serious", when this man is living fully his passion, and sharing it with others, spreading good vibes through the world!

This made me realise that even if I had gone a long way in the acceptance of who I'm this past year, by not hidding myself anymore, and by "daring" more than before, I still have a long way to go to fully embrace my passion.
I love gaming, but more than that, I love being an active member of the community and help to build it! I've always done this half time, cribbled with guilt ("I'm an addict. I'm 35 year old. I'm a mother. I should enjoy cooking instead"), and going back and forth, dancing on a feet and another, and never really taking a stance once for good.
This year, I want to be capable to embrace fully my passion! I hate cooking, I hate housework, it doesn't interest to be part of our "society" I don't like it and I do not agree with it. But via internet, via gaming, I can meet some people from everywhere in the world and I can build communities. I can have my own tribe, my own village, I can influence it with ideas and structures that I find more fair, more fitting for a human society. Of course all of this is fake in the virtual world, but our real world is fake as much. Just the consequences of our mistakes are more costly.

I've not made any concrete plans of what I'm going to do. But I will from now treat my passion as a passion, and not anymore as a hobbie. I'll treat it as something important that deserve my investissement, my energy, my creativity and my time. Something I can be proud off. Something I have no reasons to be ashamed of! Doing things half way are pointeless. There is no negociation. We live only once..this life atleast, and I believe that letting myself guided by my passion will help me to become a better person, more positive, courageous and enthousiastic, and by this I'll help to make the world a better place aswell!

Elloa
Starting a new video serie "Elloa plays ..."

Since the 15th August I can not stream anymore due to a very unstable Internet connection. It was an activity I used to enjoy, but it was also very draining, as it didn't leave me much intimacy. I had to plan everything: my guild events and my real life to fit my streaming schedule. All in all, I think I prefer to record and edit videos. I can put more creativity, more care in the presentation, select and target more interesting subjects. I can also choose the moment when I record. It can be early in the morning or late at night, it doesn't matter. The only part that I really miss from streaming is the interactivity with the viewers.

I've a few followers that were disappointed about me not streaming anymore, so I decided to come up with an idea to compensate this. I avoided to do "Let'sPlay video" until now because I've the feeling that there is already too much of them on Youtube, that's it's usually long and maybe not always the most interesting thing to watch. I've the feeling it's often a lazy way for Youtubers to create more content on their channel. I only know few Youtubers that make quality Let'sPlay video. I don't want to be lazy, I don't want to do what everyone else is doing! I want to offer entertaining and interesting videos.

I'm currently playing and enjoying three MMOs: ESO, WOW and ArcheAge. The Elder Scrolls Online is my main game, I keep myself up to date and try to provide instructive content that both can help the viewers, and promote the aspect of The Elder Scrolls Online that is not enough highlighted in my opinion: stories, exploration, immersion...I'll continue to do those series I've started: ESO News, Dungeons Stories, and Elloa'sDiary.

In addition, I want to provide interesting "Let's Play videos". The concept is to record chosen moment in one of the games I play, that show various aspects of what I'm doing. I'd comment the action "Live" with webcam on to give it an impression of Livestreaming. I decided to go for 15 min long, which is short enough to keep things entertaining, and long enough to show a nice piece of my gaming life. I'd tru to keep those videos varied and interesting.

I've done the three first episodes, and I need your honest feedback. It's a test. It's the first time I'm doing this and I'm exploring new areas without really knowing where I'm going.
Are Let'sPlay video interesting? What game do you prefer to see me cover between ESO, WOW and ArcheAge? What activity would you like to see me doing and commenting? Quest? PVE? PVP? WHat kind of frequency would you like to see? An episode every day, alternating between games? Or is it too much? Are my comments fun enough? Are those videos relaxing or boring?
Do not hesitate to give me your opinion, or to make request: This serie of videos will evolve with you guys!