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Showing all 6 posts tagged "blabla".
I don't like my gnome

Maybe "I don't like my gnome" is a bit too strong to express the lack of connection I feel towards my character. I find her cute and it's fun to be a tiny thing running arround healing, but for now I feel her almost like a stranger to me. This can seems a detail for many, but this is something that greatly bother me and make me feel very "meeeh" when I see her on my character selection screen.

Elloa between Fizzpop and Serleen

I was affraid to race change my precious priest when I did. I did because it felt like it was a nice project to reconnect to World of Warcraft together with my boyfriend as we both started to lose interest in the game at that time. We had this crazy gnome parteh with @Aeyvi and @Vordt.Ororyu hanging out in the Goldshire Inn with several other gnomes ; @Sharlena had just race changed her warrior as gnome and Fredrik's main character was his gnome. So it felt like it would be cool to add one more gnome to the gnome crew and pretend to slowly convert Whitestar in a gnome guild. Well, you know, just for fun and tease @Cornilius @Agagor @LunaDra and @Savian.
But in the end, there were no gnome crew I was ever part off, @Internet is changing main character for a draenei, and instead of fun, laughter and friendship, the few memories I associate to my gnome are rather unpleasant things I'd like to leave behind and forget.

I would like to start anew and reconnect with my priest. Love her again. Feel happy when I see her. Feel like it's a part of myself. Like she had been so many years.

My priest is my most precious character. My eternal main, because I've knew so many things with her. In game memories, and real life emotions that had been life changing for me. This priest is a real extension of myself, a true avatar of who I'm. There is no other character I feel more connected to, even not in The Elder Scrolls Online (which is a game I love a lot more than World of Warcraft today).

I started her in Vanilla-WOW when I decided to switch from the frenchspeaking server to the international ones. The best idea I ever had.

Elloa Silversky along one of her expedition

Elloa Silversky, the first identity of my priest, was a melancholic night elf that mourned her betroyed, a druid that did not awaken with the others. She became the High Priest of the Darnassus Sentinels, and toke vows to stay pure and virgin to take care of her people. She obviously fall in love with one of her soldier but never broke her vows. Drove by sadness and despair, she lost herself in her research to discover if the Kaldorei truely came from the ancient Trolls that drank the water of the Eternity Well. She started many expeditions to explore the trolls ruins in every part of Azeroth and ended by being truely convinced than the night elves decended from the Trolls, and to find back their immortality the Kaldorei people needed to get back to their roots: the voodoo. She went alone on the Echo Islands to recieve her initiation from a local Mam'bo.

It's also with her that I started to raid for the first time. From the hardcore roleplayer, I was, I started to be more and more interested into raiding and enjoyed to heal in Zul Gurub, Molten Core and An'Qiraj.It has been great time, and I was a good healer. I also made a very good friend @Aegis_Nor

But mostly, it's with her I played through whole Wrath of the Lych King in a guild lead by the father of my kids "Wardens". I had my little dungeon group to farm heroics with @Sharlena and @Internet (that were together at that time). It's with her I met @Alakina. Ooh good time! This was so much fun! I was organizing the raids, and we did great. Satharion and 3 drakes, then Ulduar and some hardmodes. To finish with The Trial of the Crusaders, normal and heroic mode.
And finally, it's with her I find true love!!! I was healing @Internet instead of the tanks, and he was never dying! <3 With her I went through the most happytime of my life, and through though times aswell, before to start a new life. Transfered her on Defias Brotherhood, made her the twin of Fredrik's priest, and we founded Whitestar.

The twin priestess Eledeza and Elenoza organising the tournament.

Later, we transfered to the Horde, to raid in Luminous Path, the guild of @Savian. We transformed our priestesses into undead twins: Elzbeth and Earina. I wrote a story about them. They were crazy twins that had a twisted, unbreakable affection for each others.

Elzbeth and Earina before they turned undead.

We worked for weeks on the Lych King kill, but we never killed it in the end (and this is why I'll never kill him, I want my character to not have the achievement). Then my priest toke some rest to leave place to another character I hold dear to my heart: Elloa, the draenei shaman.

I created Elloa, my shaman, after an argument with Fredrik regarding the races we would play in Cataclysm. He really wanted to play Worgen while I really wanted to play a goblin. To show my good will, during the night of my 31 birthday, I created my draenei shaman. And later, we resurected Whitestar.
I wrote a very deep, and dramatic story for my shaman. A draenei story, filled with pain, devotion, wisdom, a story long of ten thousand years.

Elloa and her friend Sidori

I'm speaking about my shaman, because I always wanted to play her past, before the sack of Shattrah.

Elloa was an anchorite with a high connection to the light, devoted to her commune, organising "well being" workshop and taking care of everyone. Then she toke part in the defence of Shattrah during the bloodlust, saw her poeple fall, and had been griefly injuried. She survived though, but lost the connection with the Light. She was persuaded to be broken, despite no physical signs proving her right. She didn't realised that she was not cursed with the touch of the Burning Legion, but only by her own guilt, and lack of self confidence. She lived in the Zangarmarch and was initiated by Nabundo to the shamanism. She fled Draenor with her commune, and survived the crash of the Exodar. Along her 10 thousand years of existance, she saw more than 80 percent of her poeple being massacred and wiped out. Survivor of the genocide. Once on Azeroth, she decided to move on, transcend her pain, and discover the new world she landed on. That's how she met Alakina Aisling, one of the last Whitestar heroes.
You can read her story here Elloa, a draenei fate

Elloa when she was a happy and dedicated anchorite on Draeneor

I'm not very sure about what I'm going to do. I don't want to waste money on this, but in the same time feeling disconnected with your most precious character is not fun. I've done a big mistake when I race changed my character. Now, I feel disconnected with the game aswell.

While I adore The Elder Scrolls Online and would be happy to only play that game, I still play World of Warcraft for few reasons.

  • The most important is to play a game with my boyfriend. Back in september, we decided World of Warcraft would be our game to play together, as we have different playstyle and sometimes have difficulties to adjust and play a game together for long. Atleast, with World of Warcraft, we would have the game where we met to fal back and enjoy ourselves like in the past.
  • Second reason is that I like to be part of all guilds in Whitestar. Not to supervise, but to keep a contact with everyone and by doing so maintain the unity within our diversity. Kepe our community together.
  • Third, there is the nostalgia factor. WOW is my oldest game, and it's a game that had been so entertwinned with my real life, that it's part of me, as much as my old shool, or my childhood hollidays.
  • And lastly, I love to heal in raid. I really enjoy that, and no games offer a raiding experience like World of Warcraft does.

So I want to continue to like the game, to be interested in it. And for that I need to recognise my character as an extension of myself. I can choose to keep the gnome as a gnome, and hopefully build up nice memories with her. I can give her back her first form, despite the character revamp, I still can make her close enough to what she looked like. Or she can become my shaman past, when she was still a happy draenei filled with hopes for the future.

Streaming on HITBOX

Hello everyone,

I want to write a little message to share that I'm now streaming on HITBOX. I've tested it several days and I'm very enthousiastic about it so far! This are the reasons why I like Hitbox:

  • Clean and user friendly interface
  • Every feature that Twich have, but made better
  • Better connection to the servers, wich allow me to stream without lag most of the time despise my unstable connection
  • No delay, so better interaction between me and my viewers
  • Fun functionality in a single dashboard: polls, giveaway, promotion to social media, changing title, chat and preview the stream
  • Super cute smileys
  • Possibility to edit and save past recording in a clean board and uplaod them to Youtube.

Check out my Page! I'm pretty about the result, I tried to make it informative, original, classy and clean: here
If you want to see the video of my past broadcast, please, have a look at my video page here

My plan is to test Hitbox for about a month before to take the decision to establish myself definitively or not. The big downside for me is that Hitbox is not very well known yet, and the whole ESO community, my main game, is streaming or watching stream on TwichTV. As I'm not very well known yet, I'm taking a risk here to stay without any followers for a long while...which isn't very fun. But I'm also someone that enjoy to be a pioneer. When I believe in a product, I want to stand for it, and help to make it known. Like I did for Anook! So...if I enjoy Hitbox as much as I enjoyed Anook when I joined, I'll be right behind them, support them as much as I can, and spread the word!

So, please, if you enjoy what I'm doing consider to have a look on my channel once I go live. Come say hello, even if it's five minuts! It will make me very happy! You will be warned if I go live on Anook, Twitter or Hitbox directly!

New Year rant...

I ended the year by being pretty depressed for various reasons, both related to my real life and my gaming life. One of those reasons is the fact that I'm still not fully embracing my passion with pride and contentement, I still feel that I'm sitting between two chairs, a very uncomfortable position.

Then I watched a stream event organised by dedicated members of the ESO community. I was quite disapointed to not be part of it, but my internet connection, my family situation and I don't know how much ridiculous excuses I hide behind didn't allowed me to be part of it. Another occasion I missed by not "daring". But what hitted me most during this stream was how the streamer, Deltia was embracing what he was doing with pride. He was not going out, not having parties with friends, not working anymore, but simply embracing his gaming life and dedicating all his energy to his passion. And he was happy, and proud! Which make it something vibrant. How can you say that its "bad", that he should do "something more serious", when this man is living fully his passion, and sharing it with others, spreading good vibes through the world!

This made me realise that even if I had gone a long way in the acceptance of who I'm this past year, by not hidding myself anymore, and by "daring" more than before, I still have a long way to go to fully embrace my passion.
I love gaming, but more than that, I love being an active member of the community and help to build it! I've always done this half time, cribbled with guilt ("I'm an addict. I'm 35 year old. I'm a mother. I should enjoy cooking instead"), and going back and forth, dancing on a feet and another, and never really taking a stance once for good.
This year, I want to be capable to embrace fully my passion! I hate cooking, I hate housework, it doesn't interest to be part of our "society" I don't like it and I do not agree with it. But via internet, via gaming, I can meet some people from everywhere in the world and I can build communities. I can have my own tribe, my own village, I can influence it with ideas and structures that I find more fair, more fitting for a human society. Of course all of this is fake in the virtual world, but our real world is fake as much. Just the consequences of our mistakes are more costly.

I've not made any concrete plans of what I'm going to do. But I will from now treat my passion as a passion, and not anymore as a hobbie. I'll treat it as something important that deserve my investissement, my energy, my creativity and my time. Something I can be proud off. Something I have no reasons to be ashamed of! Doing things half way are pointeless. There is no negociation. We live only once..this life atleast, and I believe that letting myself guided by my passion will help me to become a better person, more positive, courageous and enthousiastic, and by this I'll help to make the world a better place aswell!

Me, my boyfriend, and my gaming life

How to organize a gaming life, a schedule, preferences, in a gaming world with so many good games released? How to choose between titles? Where to settle down? Which friends to follow? How to manage to have enough time to spare between all those games?
It can seems ridiculous for some. A World First Problem, really! But for me, since I left World of Warcraft in Cataclysm, it has always been a struggle. Before, it was easy. I was playing WOW, and only WOW. I had my guild, my community to take care of, and I was investing myself 100% into it. And even, with so much effort and time dedicated to a single game (and generally only one character), I still felt like I was only acquainted with the top of the iceberg.

Today, my gaming life is difficult. I feel shared, shattered in pieces and I try to gather all the pieces in a same place.
I'm a slow player. I take time to learn, I like to invest myself, immerse into a game, get involved into the community, so I feel like I know what I'm doing. I also prefer to settle somewhere and be entirely dedicated to one single game, and one single community. In a ideal world, I'd find the game I enjoy and I'm good at, I'd have my guild, my friends and my boyfriend playing with me and being as passionate than I, and to top everything I'd make my videos, stream and events and would be a well known personality in that game community.
Unfortunately this will not happen. After have tried to achieve that during four years, I finally accepted it would not be possible. It's hard enough to keep a community in a game, grow a stable guild, to become a good player and a successful Youtuber, blogger, streamer, but its almost impossible to get my boyfriend hooked for a game more than one month. There is always a different good reason for him not staying interested. Sometimes it comes from the game: boring, uninteresting, grindy, no progression possible. But sometimes the reason is that because of me, he can not progress as fast and as far as he would want, and being separated by our difference of skill or interest, one of us end by giving up.

So I decided to have my game. I found it: its the Elder Scrolls Online. I've fall in love with the game. It fit my personality perfectly. I'm responsible of the Whitestar guild in that game, I can take care of it and grow it: I can invest myself. I've played the beta so long that I'm not totally clueless about the game. I keep myself uptodate, I read forums, articles and news. I managed to interest enough viewers with my videos and streams, this is also something I can grow, progress and work on. So ESO is my main game and it will stay that way for a long while. Because I can fulfill my ambition as gamer in that game.
As expected, my boyfriend who have another temper, taste and ambitions, didn't managed to get interested into ESO. We hoped that WildStar would be OUR game to share. To put a maximum chances on our side, I decided to try to play at his speed: I followed him at the best of my abilities in the leveling process. I cut my nights to have more time to play with him, sometimes I was a real zombie! But I did it! I'm sure I slowed him down a lot, but we managed to level quite fast and to share great moments together. After however, the difference between his skills and mine was to big to keep him interested. Once he hit 50 he could have immediately join Veteran Dungeons farming and a good raiding guild, while I had to get some gear, train my skills, and become good enough. That was the end of our experience together. I continued to play WildStar, hoping that if I trained enough, if I could get him in a good group of players that would not wipe the whole night, he would be interested again. But it never happened and so I was playing WildStar without him.

As it's at least the 7th time the same outcome happen, and this really hurt me every time. I'm still not over it, and I still have not give up the dream on finding that one game we could play together. I've met my boyfriend in World of Warcraft, we fall in love in Azeroth. What we had back then was so wonderful and amazing that since then I'm seeking for a similar experience. I miss my boyfriend so much as gaming partner that it consumes me and sometimes depress me deeply. Its four years I'm seeking for the solution, and its only now that I realized it would not come from a game but from an attitude.
So I toke a decision. In addition to my main game, I'd keep my second MMO free to play with him. No matter what game he wants to play, no matter how long he will play it. It can change every month, I could feel clueless and unskilled, I could feel like I'm not settling down, I'd still follow him and not be frustrated, because I'd have my one game, my guild, my videos, my place where to shine, where to explore myself and being ambitious as a gamer. Then I'd be capable of following him. It semt to me the only solution to stop to beat that dead horse, and maybe move on to something better. Another balance.

This is the only reason why I've stopped my subscription for WildStar. This is the reason why I've not bought ArcheAge for myself, as I'm not sure he will keep playing it. I'll test the game and play it with him as a free to play player. No money wasted for nothing.
And we both preordered Warlords of Draenor, and a subscription of three months because this time we will not do the same mistake than we did when Mist of Pandaria released: miss the start. Maybe... maybe after all its the game we need to go back to to find back what we lost.

Welcome back home

Returning home from holidays is never really fun. Especially not as I'm dreaming to move in that very country I spent 10 wonderful days enjoying the good weather, the sea, the mountains, the gorgeous nature, my boyfriend's lovely family and some of my best real life friends. I've never rejoiced to come back in Belgium from holidays - I only carry a mild affection for my country - but this is particuliary true when I leave Norway behind me.

However this time at least, I had the prospect of 5 more days off, without kids, without work, without any kind of obligations, to play games and work on various projects for both my guild and my YouTube channel. I'd record videos, stream and play non stop for 5 days. The first time I'd enjoy free time for just myself since I started to play MMOs. An extraordinary event that would comfort my sorrow!

When you come back home after ten days missing, there is always a good surprise. A plant that died of thirst, some food forgotten in the fridge covered of hair, a pile of unpaid bills... For me, the surprise was my computer not starting and then the discovery that my main hard drive died of sadness during my time away. On this hardrive was stored ten years of pictures, old tales and stories or Dungeons and Dragons scenarios I've written, several years of images editing, logos, banners, stream overlays, thumbnails, at least thousands screenshots, files of chosen music and much much more.
Basically I came back home to discover my house burned. This is how it felt...I had lost everything!

If only that was all...The bad surprises didn't stopped there. For some reasons my computer is also not working properly. My boyfriend spent the night trying to repair it, installing and uninstalling drivers and others windows updates. At the time I'm writing this, I'm waiting for a last update to be installed. It failed a first time, but I still do hope it could works and give me back the use of my computer.

So as you see, this was not a very happy return! I know there is much harder problems in life than a computer to format, a hardrive to replace and some files lost...but you know how passionate I'm! My computer is my only luxury, my main activity when my duties are done, my hope to evolve and flourish in this activity that I love...I had so many plans for this week and at the moment it seems I'll spent all my precious free time to repair what I've lost...

Ah bah....the updates failed again, I guess I'll just have to wait my boyfriend awake.... I guess I should get some sleep aswell...

Why a Rantosaurus?

Weird name for a blog maybe?

When I was searching for a nice, original title for my blog, that would fit my personality and any sort of subject that I'd want to speak about, I immediatly came up with that name: "Elloa, the Rantosaurus". Because that's what I am!

Every couple have nice and sweet secret little names for their other half: honey, baby, teddybear, whatnot... Well, my boyfriend is a bit more original and less cheezy than that! Rantosaurus is one of the affectuous name he is giving me when I start to speak about MMORPG. Of course MMORPG is my passion and I'm a chatty person. Especially when I've spent a great night in game, it's time to go to bed, but I'm really not sleepy. At that very particuliar moment, I'll start to boil with ideas and enthousiasm. Like a kid that try to win as much time as he can to not go to bed, I start to ramble and speak and speak...

I guess it really fit this blog... and the Surprise I'm currently working on!

Stay tuned dear followers! You will know soon enough ;)

I think it's 10 years or so I've not attempted to draw. But I wanted to make my own logo myself. I had actually a lot of fun this afternoon with my boyfriend. We both sit down at the kitchen table and started to draw some of those little creatures.