Today I feel like sharing more about my system of beliefs and what I try to create with myself. This is very personal, I'm not trying to convince, or convert anyone. I'm not writting this to give lessons nor to open a debate. I just wanted to share.

In the eternal fight of "Evil" versus "Good" that is illustrated in so many myths, tales and legends, and also our modern literature. Evil, the side of fear and anger. Good, the side of Love.
The only way to annihilate Evil, is not to fight. Fighting Evil, would mean falling in the camp of fear, anger, and retribution. This would mean becoming corrupted, and actually increasing the ranks of Evil. Within Evil, wars are allowed. That just increase its power.
The only way, is to love. And slowly convert evil elements, in loving elements by simply loving them enough and transfering that love. The process is slow and long. But that's the purpose of life, isn't it? Slowly, each corrupted elements is less and less influenced by fear and anger, and slowly become a loving cell, that can in turn, enlight others. It's a slow healing process. But that requiere no fight, no violence, no combat. Only love.

This is one of the strongest beliefs I've. The path I've choosen to follow, even though, I'm filled with fear, bitterness, and anger. But I belief that the only way, is to heal myself with love, joy, light and positivity. That way I'll wipe out my fears, my angers, my bitterness. I'll be acceptance and wisdom, and I'll be able to love the world in return.This is not something easy. Atleast it is not for me. So many often I'm entrapped within my own illusions of fear and anxiety. Even if I know this are only illusions, it's difficult to break free from them, and remember that everything is okay, as long as your heart is filled with love. It is hard to trust. It is hard to let go. It is hard to not try to control everything. I know that, when I feel stressed, I'm angry, sad, depressed, hopeless, or very fearful, I need to get away by myself for a while, and heal myself in tranquility. It doesn't matter if I believe I'm right, if I believe my cause is fair. Fear, and anger is never right, is never fair, is never the solution. It's a trap of illusion that enslaves me. To break free, I need to trust and love. But too many time, I'm falling in the trap, and I forget it is illusions. I become angry and fearful and act accordingly. Step by step, I try to recognise the traps, I try to not let myself fall into it. Step by step, I'll learn. It takes time. But that's okay.

With enough of Love, one become unbreakable.

This is another belief. I think that within us lies a source of love.It is like a tiny diamant lost and covered under a pile if dust. The dust represent our fears and anger. When we feel sad, anxious, depressed, fearful, the solution is not to seak outside to be saved. This will not really work. It's like patching a wound without properly healing it. The solution is to look within ourselves. Find that tiny diamand of light, and make it shine. Make it grow. We can imagine it as a spell, the light burning all the dust, and the diamond is growing. Now imagine than the diamond within you is growing so large that your whole being is transformed into a diamond, reflecting light, and unbreakable. That way, you can burn the dust and darkness arround you, and you become a beacon of light for the world.
This is one of the reason why I believe so strongly that to make the world a batter place, I need to start by making myself a better person, and this is the quest I need to focus on.
A more logical approach is simply to understand than if everyone was improving themselves and becoming more loving and caring persons, less entraped with fear and anger, the world would become better by itself, without any other work.

This. I belief that we are all in the same boat. All of us without exception. We are struggling with our lives, with ourselves. We are seeking hapiness and love. We wish to not suffer. Doesn't matter the mistakes we do, or the path we choose. We are all the same, carring our burdens and struggling. As such I consider us all equal, and I try to accept everyone. I try to make a separation between what the personality or the "character" of someone (opinion, taste, beliefs) and what the person truely is (someone struggling to be happy). Obviously there is opinion, taste, beliefs, in short personalities or "characters" that fit me better, or that I like better; but I try to not let myself influenced too much by it. I try to consider everyone, and remember than we all want the very same thing.

When I feel myself too much unloving, I have several meditation excercises. To tranform my hostility into compassion. For example, when I'm travelling in the bus, and poeple annoy me, disgust me. Then I try to imagine everyone as a little toddler. And I imagine they have lost their mum, or they have fallen on the ground and they are hurt. I imagine them in tears and distress. How can you not melt and feel filled with compassion in front of a innocent and cute baby suffering in front of you. The only thing you will want to do is to confort that little baby. Take it in your arms and reassure him. "It's alright, everything is going fine. I'll protect you. I'll help you." That usually does the trick, and instead of being annoyed by poeple, I feel myself filled with love.

I've different other exercises, other scenarios and stories I made up in my head.
One of them is to feel friendship. Remember how you become friend with someone? It often take a long time. You need to discover each others, learn each others, spent time with each others. Learn to accept the other with his differences. Sometimes you need some good fights, and some good reconciliations. And then the friendship is established. In that "meditation", what I do is simply skipping all those steps. I imagine than the stranger in front of me is a long term friend and that we have shared already all those steps to become friend. Instead of having to earn my trust, my affection and my care with years and years of sharing life together, I treat that person instantly like a friend. I imagine to rejoice to see this person. To want to hug him or her. To be happy about his success and mourn his hardships. Like you do for a real friend. It's actually a very fun way to transform mistrust and annoyance with joy and love.

My goal and my aim, is to love everyone. Not making any difference. After all, does a person deserve more my love because I know him or not? Does a person deserve more my love because his personality fit my own? No that's not really fair when you think about it. Anyone deserve as much love as anyone else. Wiping out step by step all the steps that make you prefer a person over another, this is what I do. I'm not yet there, though. But working on it! ;)

I rarely dislike poeple. But sometimes it happens. Or, sometimes it's not that I dislike them, but I'm scared, jealous, I mistrust, I'm hurt. Whatever. It's not positive feelings. Those persons take the shape or the role of an ennemy or a rival. Do you know how to do to annihalate your ennemies? You befriend them! Not in a hypocritical way, to stab them later when you have earn their trust. You befriend them for real, you love them, you care for them, you wish them success and happiness. And then suddendly, you do not have an ennemy anymore. You have a friend instead. And the day that person love you back, the victory is total! This, is a practical example of what I explained above of how to annihilate Evil by loving.

While I'm very spiritual and believe in many things, while I'm naturally attracted to religions or spiritual movements, since I'm a little girl and despite have been raised in a very atheist family, I've made the conscious choice to not affiliate myself to any religions or spirtitual movement. Instead I'm reading here and there, I listen to various source, various culture, always keeping my criticism awake, and my mind open. Or I try.
I choose to not be affiliate to any religion because I do not want to enclose myself, to pledge loyalty to one movement, and miss out all opportunities to grasp a sparkle of truth. I do not believe any religion, or spirituality own the Truth. I do not think the Truth is known by any human. I believe our brain is not powerful enough to comprehend the immensity of Truth, and we only grasp some part of it, here and there. So more sources I'm are listening to, more sparkle of Truth I'm gathering. And it seems to me more interesting to read on various and different sources, and see all the similarities between them.
I also choose to not affiliate myself, because religions had been corrupted by humans for so long. It had been used to control population, establish power over poeple, political reasons and so on. The real message had been distorded with time, and lost in so many falsness. It's really difficult to be able to make the difference between what was the real message and what had been corrupted by centuries of corruption.
Likewise, spirituality and madness are sibilings, and it's so easy, while seaking for enlightment, to be fooled and fall in a trap of illusions and lies.
For all those reasons, I've choose to walk my spiritual path by myself, carefully, slowly. It would be faster with a Master to guide me, but I feel more safe to do it my own way. I'm inspired by some persons, by some guides, but I never follow them blindly and exclusively.

I'm also lacking of faith, and being to skeptical. I'm too often fearfull and scared. I try to be more trustful in general. All of this take time. And there is many moment, I'll stumble and fall. But as long as I get back on my feets, and continue to walk, it's okay. I've all the time.

I try to stay humble, open minded, and accept that I can be wrong. I try to never be stuborn, and stuck in my own beliefs. It's not always easy. Sometimes, some beliefs are deeply encrusted. But as long as I've the will, and the capacity to accept that I could have been wrong all along, I guess there is still hope.

I also belief that it is important to remember that we are in a energy of creation. We can create who we are. We can choose to follow a certain path. We can break free from our past programations and influences (education, culture, hardship in life etc...). We can break free from them, choose what we want to become and actively create who we are. Knowing this help immensely, as instead of being a victim of misfortune, we become the creator of our destiny.

Thank you to have read me. Peace, Love and joy uppon you, your loved ones, and your non-loved ones too! ;)

- Elloa