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Showing all 2 posts in August 2016.
Elloa
Back to Final Fantasy

Lately, my mood and moral go up and down. Sometimes very down. I needed to find an activity that would offer me comfort and gentleness. Something that would be as inspiring as a hug, where I could feel safe, and not lonely. I needed a game where I could lose myself in beauty and feel happier, even only by myself.

Final Fantasy is the perfect game for that. It inspire kindness and joy. It's one of the only game where you can see your character truly smiling, and where you can hug other players for real. The music, the oniric landscape, or even the dialogue between the NPCs, make you think of a better world.
Its also a game that I always regretted to not have been part of, when it was highly played in Whitestar. I know this game is highly praised for many aspect, including the complexity and the depth of the "old school" combat system.
So, I decided to resubscribe to that game and to continue to discover it.

I've been very lucky to be able to play with @LunaDra who gently assisted me to complete some steps of my personal quest. We did some dungeons together and it was great! It put a nice sunshine in my day, and I was glad to share some privileged game time with a very sweet friend.
The spoil of the day didn't stopped there, as @Aeyvi joined me later. She toke me for a tour of the Golden Sauce where I had never been before, and explained me all games we can enjoy there. We had a very nice discussion about the game as we unlocked some other features such as the Palace of the Dead and the Challenge Log. This will allow us to spent more time together in the game, and allow me to truly discover Final Fantasy.

Thank you so much girls for your friendship, you really helped me when I was not going very well, and I feel a lot more hopeful as I'm writing this post. This prove once more that gentleness, friendship, and some shared moment together can serve as balm, and soothe sorrow. Lots of love to you both! (and everyone else reading this post)

Elloa
Sharing - Humility and EGO

Lately, I'm not happy at all with myself. I should probably go speak to a psychiatrist or therapist, rather than ranting in my blog, but...I'm not called the rantosaurus for nothing so here it goes. Feel free to not read.

I made not long ago, a post describing my goals for self-improvement, and the direction I wanted to go. ( Sharing - Who I've choosen to become)While this wasn't supposed to be a post of self praise...I felt it looked a bit like that. NO. I'm not the way I described. I just WANT to become that way.

Anyway for today, let's speak about my two weakness: humility and EGO. Those two are giving me hard time. By the simple fact of writing this and publicating on this blog I'm already losing the fight and make them victorious, by being absolutely not humble, and being the center of attention again.

True humility is diffcult to achieve. Admiting that we are not perfect, that we have flaws, even publicaly isn't enough to deserve to be called humble. Humility is to accept that sometimes we are not needed. Sometimes we are not important. Sometimes we do not have the power to change things, and we shouldn't. Sometimes we are a simply meant to not be involved, to not be included, to have a modest role, or no role at all. And we should be satisfied with that.
EGO, is that one thing that will make you believe that you are the most important thing in the world. You will want to be a hero, or a victim, or whatever, anything that will make you stand out, anything that will make you special, or good, or better, or less good, or the worst. Anything to stand appart and be separated from everyone else and the world. And more you fight the ego, trying to suppress it with good morals and behaviour, mediation, and other work on self improvement, more the EGO will fight you back, and try to win.

I'm in such battle at the moment, and it's exhausting. My EGO is very fierce and really don't want to be eliminated. He want to be a hero, or a victim. He wants to be admired by others, recognised for the great feats he does, ...or attract sympathy and compassion, and transform myself into a poor poor little person.

The reality is that...I'm not better or worst than anyone else. I'm not more or less important. I'm just like everyone. I should find my place and be satisfied with that place. Find my role on earth, no matter how modest, discreete and unimportant that role can be.
That reality is a knife in the heart of the EGO. But so be it. I want to win that fight.

Oh my God, there is so little on that list that I can check!