Follow meriadah on Anook

Sign up to keep track of meriadah's updates or create your own profile to share your gaming experience, follow your favorite games and show off your gaming identities.

meriadah

meriadah

Male, 36 years old, lives in Enschede, Netherlands

meriadah

TL;DR: i am slowly overcoming my anxiety issues and my feelings of inferiority by playing this game and most of all being part of this community. Seriously guys! Thanks!

 

So first of a little background, so you'll know where i'm coming from:

for 18 years now i've been aware of my autism (i'm 33 years old) through a lot of bullying from others, and difficulty to understand social interaction and feel comfortable with talking to others, i've developed a deep rooted sense of inferiority. One that bothers me to this day.

 

I've started playing MMO's to find a "safe" place to have fun with other people. Because, believe it or not, I WANT to be social and have friends, even though it's so difficult for me. I've hopped around several different MMO's but always felt i didn't belong. Hotjoins and pugs were disasters to join, and i always felt like i was holding the group back, because i wasn't good enough. Most of the time that was confirmed by the chat (and me being kicked). Most disheartening of all was the experience i had with guilds. Every guild i joined before GW2 disbanded within two weeks, even when i tried really hard to keep everyone together. MMO's in the end didn't look to be so "safe" after all.

 

Then, around the dragon bash patch, i started playing GW2. mostly because i didn't have to pay a subscription. The first few months ingame were mostly fun. with the exception of dungeons. I noticed the same problems with pugs as i did with other MMO's, and kept feeling too low skilled to do those. so i kept to open world content. Where i did notice some nice people in chat.

 

But then I had the good fortune to join Mist Angels [MIST]. Like in the open world chat, this guild had an open attitude and was willing to help me learn. As long as i was willing to learn from them. Slowly, over the years, they've helped me feel comfortable to "raise the bar" and try out more difficult stuff in game. from dungeons to fractals, from fractals to raids.

 

Even though I still feel I'm holding my guild back when it comes to raids (my autism does get a little in the way of processing all the information coming at me during the fights). It did help me reach a major milestone a few days back: I've finally defeated the last HoT story fight on solo, something I never thought I had the skill for.

 

It made me realize that even if this is just a silly game I play to be around other people and have fun with them. It helped me to realize that I'm not as inferior as I thought, and that where I think i am lacking, I have the ability to grow. That might sound rather mundane to the most of you. but to me, it's mind boggling and amazing. It offers perspective I hope I'll be able to take with me to my real life and hopefully overcome the boss fights waiting for me there.

 

I'm getting emotional just writing this down, so I'll stop before I get too sappy (sorry for the trahearne joke). This means a lot to me, so I thought it was well worth a big thank you to the entire community of GW2, not just Mist Angels, everyone! Your well rounded and open minded way of being fair to eachother as much as possible is the main reason why I'm starting to overcome my feelings of inferiority.

 

Thank you, keep on being awesome please!

 

Mathijs (from the Netherlands)

meriadah
  • Oct 14, 2016, 8:41:32 AM
meriadah

www.reddit.com/r/Guildwars2/…

 

I posted this there as well

Elenvhar
  • Oct 14, 2016, 8:56:52 AM
Elenvhar

You will always have a place in our little family Max, GW2 would not be the same without you and I hope you know you can always talk to me when something is wrong (which you did after Gorseval). We are here for you and we will do anything to keep you strong! Together we can overcome everything this silly little game throws at us :) Now you got me more emotional! Love the post

Elloa
  • Oct 14, 2016, 10:38:37 AM
Elloa

I never though you had anxiety issue, you always shown as someone nice, social, and pleasant to hang out with. I remember you in Wildstar and in GW2 when I was still playing! Thanks for sharing this story and I wish you so much success for future! Lots of love!!

Kaleo
  • Oct 14, 2016, 11:52:36 AM
Kaleo

I'm sorry to hear that's you've been struggling it's the these issues or such a long a long time. I honestly had no idea myself. I'm so glad to hear that Mist Angels and the wide range community have been helping you through them! If there's anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask!

Kaleo
  • Oct 14, 2016, 11:53:17 AM
Kaleo

(But I highly recommend bashing a feel quaggan, it's quite thereputic!)

Kaleo
  • Oct 14, 2016, 11:53:44 AM
Kaleo

Feel = Few.

meriadah
  • Oct 14, 2016, 5:58:27 PM
meriadah

we just had Poobadoo twice on the same guild missions night, my heart broke everytime we killed him....i think i've bashed more then enough quaggans for a lifetime :p Thanks for the sweet comment though!

floricora
  • Oct 14, 2016, 6:16:23 PM
floricora

dawwwhhh max!!!!^^ *gives a big hug* ^^ you are and will always be a part of this big, sometimes bit weird and slightly disturbing family i love so much!!!!^^ and like ken sayd before...we'll overcome everthing this game trows at us...salads, asura's...everything^^ zeer veel liefde vanuit belgie kerel ^^

Alaktra
  • Jan 10, 2017, 1:16:37 AM
Alaktra

Meri always be merry \o/